The Vaughan Family Discipleship Story
Reflections from an Empty Nest
Our girls, Sophia who is married and Natalie who is in college, have made us empty nesters. As we reflect back on the last 23 years of parenting, we can see that there was no 3-step formula to raising godly kids. All that we see is God using an imperfect couple to raise the next generation.
Things we knew worked well for other families didn't always work for ours. Some have great success with structured family devotions. We weren’t one of those families! Our attempts would last a couple of weeks before fizzling. Still, we desired to faithfully point our kids to Jesus. That plays out differently in each home. For us, it happened through the everyday moments of life as we cultivated a safe and loving home and hearts that love the Lord.
Home
Home was a safe place to land. Most evenings were spent together, with dinner being a priority. We encouraged participation in school and extracurricular activities, but avoided being involved to the point of being gone many nights per week.
After the busy evening routine, bedtime was the girls’ special time with Mom or Dad. Here we consistently read Bible stories and prayed with our daughters; filling the final moments of their day with conversation, God’s Word, and often humor. Questions like “What was it like to bring skunks on the Ark? Pee-ew!” would at times generate interesting conversation and laughs.
As the girls developed friendships, our house was often the place for playdates and parties. Hosting extended family for meals and celebrations helped foster their love for extended family that continues today.
Heart
We encouraged our daughters to grow in their love for God through His Word and prayer. From a young age, we taught our girls the value of hiding God’s word in their hearts.
Psalm 119:11 - “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”
Praying together happened naturally around mealtimes and bedtime. As they grew and faced bigger challenges in their day, we often asked, “How can I pray for you?” and prayed specific Scriptures over their situation; helping to connect the truths of God’s Word to their daily life. When faced with a dilemma of what to believe, we reminded our girls to “Consider the source.” What is the source and does it align with Biblical Truth? We can use God’s Word to discern truth from error, right from wrong.
We wanted to nurture a love for the local church. That looked like studying with fellow believers, coaching basketball, or leading worship. It meant taking meals to new moms or coming alongside grieving friends. Serving on mission trips and giving to those in need helped incline our hearts to needs outside our own. Our parenting years have come with many bumps in the road! From friend drama and sibling rivalry, to navigating illness and loss, to learning how to parent our adult children. With each new chapter, God guides us through prayerful dependence on Him.
Did we “succeed” in raising our girls? We would say God did. He used two sinful servants and a lot of grace and mercy along the way. God has great plans for your child, beyond what you could ask or think.
Proverbs 19:21 - “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”